Dishevelled
The wind whips at the bare branches of the maples in my backyard like an unseen wave rushing over their cold bark – humming and roaring, stirring up crisp leaves, snapping twigs from their holds, reshaping the world. This restless wind swirls through my psyche.
Do things need stirring up?
Is my current existence amidst the baby gates and dog toys becoming routine? Has the furnace fed air inside my home become stale and stifling?
The wind’s howling makes me want to rush about breaking branches, flinging leaves, dishevelling my inner world – shaking up my routine. Maybe I should run naked through the snowy streets like the wind … or maybe I should paint my kitchen, both oddly appealing options.
But now is not the time to be dishevelled. Not now when I’m taking care of a pet, a teenager, a husband and a handful of clients — I need my routines to stay organized and on schedule. I need them, yes, but I also need more than the occasional bubble bath to make me feel like I’m also taking care of myself. I need more than a chick flick on a Friday night to inspire me.
I need my soul to alight like the wind.
I need to push for something that is not an escape, but instead, a discovery. I need to do more than chill out. I need to engage in something deeply, expose myself completely (and not to the neighbours). I need to be active in creating and imagining worlds beyond this one. I need to not be a bystander. And even if what I do is not noticed by others, I will know that I did something akin to the humming and the roaring of this restless wind.
Katie, I’ve re-read this post so much this morning I think it’s memorized. Captures me-now exactly!! So well written, too!
Thank you, Kay. It’s likely a universal feeling to need our routines, but also to need more than our routines. Finding a balance somehow is the answer.
“I need to be active in creating and imagining worlds beyond this one.” I love this line (well, the whole post). I so know those moments when a bubble bath is just not enough and you need MORE. That something out there is calling your name and getting pretty annoying about it, but life just keeps standing in the way. How to balance what is happening in life and what you need to happen is such a hard thing to do.
Jacki, life does stand in the way but sometimes I think I let it. I make choices, go along with other people’s plans and end up somewhere other than where I feel I’m meant to be. With more conscious living maybe that balance comes.
I live in a VERY windy place. It is at times scary, must mostly comforting. To be out when it’s raging and howling shakes up everything. This time of year, particularly, makes that a necessity. Things frequently need stirring up
Kathryn, I think the wonderful thing about nature is that it calls us back to our truth, our beginnings, and it reminds us of what we are – living creatures and powerful beings who need a little stirring up once in a while. Stay safe in your windy place.
Powerful. Still consuming this one. Glad you took time to create something this morning. It’s more than a simple blog post…but then you know that!
I loved this phrase: “I need to push for something that is not an escape, but instead, a discovery.”
I needed the beauty of these words. Thank you.
Hi Steve, I’m glad you embraced this post. Maybe you need some stirring up too.
Thank you, your writing is as beautiful as what you are expressing. I know the feeling you write about. It lives deeper in the body and it is true that it responds strongly to the spring and autumn winds. A soak in the tub just unravels me more and surface solutions get me to chasing those leaves the wind blows. Steady on is the way to go. Thanks again.
Diane, thank you for your kind comment. Surface solutions don’t go deep enough, you’re right. I suppose as writers, as human beings, we do crave that depth, but often live at the surface of things – it’s easier and calmer there.
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing a reflection that resonates so strongly. We are much more than our daily ‘existence’; our essence is the essence of life. The wind is calling you and colors are teasing you..you are on the brink of an adventure..how exciting!
Joy, I love your enthusiasm. Thank you for enticing me to begin my adventure.
I just returned from a 2 week volunteer-vacation and 5 day solo excursion in a foreign land. It absolutely enabled me to “engage in something deeply, expose myself completely, and be active in creating and imagining worlds beyond this one.” It was REALLY hard to break away from my routines & schedules… and it would have been easy to say “now is not the time” to be “dischevelled.” But if you’re saying that now isn’t the time, then now is probably the perfect time. I was so stuck it took something big to get me to move my thoughts; but it probably doesn’t have to be like that for everyone. Do something though – and don’t wait. Maybe a naked jaunt down the street would be the perfect solution and allow you to keep up your caretaking commitments. I also highly recommend skydiving.
Thanks Katie, I always love your words!
hm, yes I do crave a foreign land, whether it’s in my imagination or in my real travels, moving outside of this life into another does open up everything. I have jumped from a plane before and although I don’t feel the need to ever do it again, maybe I’ll try something less life threatening – it’s not thrills but chills I seek, if you know what I mean.
Go for it Katie, it sounds like something is “calling” you and you truly need to answer that call. Beautiful words and so much truth, thanks for sharing.
Gay Barefield, thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate the support and good energy from one and all. xo
Wow! You spoke my language. I am printing this and keeping it close by. I have been feeling the exact same thing lately and you put it into words so beautifully! Love how you say, “I need to push for something that is not an escape, but instead, a discovery.”
jeanine, so glad we speak the same language. I love that. Maybe I need to work on writing more about how we can all move into our discoveries, how we can alight like the wind. How-to’s are always so much more useful than wishes expressed with no course of action proposed, although I am glad you were inspired to print this and keep it close.
Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!
Thank you Kurban. It’s always wonderful to have a new reader. I shall be writing again. Much appreciation, and welcome.
Beautiful the image of the dishevelling wind. Life is continuous revolution. Many times we try too hard to stop that revolution. When routine and ordinariness begin to block the continuous revolution of life, we need to embrace again the flow of that revolution. Welcome to the dishevelling wind!
thank you Emanuele, I feel welcomed and ready to embrace the flow.
I love that last line. It’s encouraging for me. Keep writing
Noch Noch
Thanks for encouraging me too, Noch Noch.
Katie: This is and has been my problem. Just like you, I cannot think that a hot bath will restore my body, mind, and soul (maybe just my body but not the rest). I have been known to go M.I.A where I am either writing, doing homework, or in front of the computer all day. My peers might be out partying and going wild, but not William. Instead, I keep to myself and and keep to my work. I know I am on the right track, but I always have to make time to enjoy life. That is what I am working on doing. I am not a partying person, but I have been going to a couple of concerts. They have been totally awesome and refreshing! I want to find something fun to do every weekend.
Do you try to do something you enjoy every week? Have you ever found yourself working with no play? How is everything going for you? I hope everything is going great!
God bless,
William Veasley
Thanks for sharing pieces of your life, William and for asking about mine. Yes, I do enjoy something every week. I share a glass of wine with my husband, walk the dog through the woods, grab a tea with my mum, or hang out with my teen daughter to mock bad television — all of it good and relaxing respites from work, but I’m pushing for more. I want to get back to my novel, to get back in shape and to slow down enough to really look at things as I pass them by. Walking and writing help me see my world in new ways and move beyond where I am in my soul. I’m getting there.
Great? Not yet, but moving in that direction.
Sounds like we both value our solitude.
You’ve really captured how I feel. Sometimes I look at my life and I just want to be free.
“to be free” – I’m contemplating what that feels like, looks like and how to get there too – thanks for chiming in, Whitney. Glad the post resonated with where you’re at.