Give Yourself the Ultimate Gift: You
This is a guest post by Melissa Gorzelanczyk of Peace & Projects. Melissa and I decided to swap guest posts today. We call it a “gift swap”. We’re exchanging our ideas on gift giving with each other and with our readers. Be sure to head over to her blog to see my gift to Melissa. This is her gift to me.
This year, I learned a lot about what I really want for Christmas. It started early in the season with my post about stuff on Rowdy Kittens. As I recalled my memories as a bin-aholic, my heart sank. Christmas morning would bring another wave of stuff. Another wave with me wondering, “Where does this fit in?”
My Christmas wish became clearer when I wrote how to have a rich Christmas without spending more. I was already living the frugal life, so shopping mindfully became a top priority.
Then came the final straw – Leo’s case against buying Christmas presents.
That was it.
I was officially turned off presents.
I didn’t want any.
There was nothing the stores could offer to eclipse what I’d learned. All of that stuff – and I mean literal stuff – didn’t matter to me anymore.
That’s when I realized something.
I’ve already given myself the ultimate gift.
Let me explain.
2010 was a year of incredible personal discovery. My family of four accomplished some incredible goals.
We found and donated a meteorite.
We (finally) killed $42,000 dollars of consumer debt.
I quit my day job to work and be at home.
… to name a few.
Yes, 2010 was the year I gave myself the ultimate gift: Me.
My focus changed. I reached some monumental turning points in my search to find my truest self.
How did I do it?
I listened. To me.
Took action.
Learned.
Never quit.
This year do yourself a favor by giving yourself the ultimate gift: You.
Because behind the woman that’s trying to do it all is that beautiful, pure self.
She’s waiting to emerge from a sea of consumer debt.
She’s ready to be set free from years of poor eating choices.
Even if she’s spent, distracted, pressured and worn out … trust me. She believes you can do it.
Bring your pure self back to life.
Maybe you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore. I’ve been there.
I’ve felt helpless inside a life full of obligations. I’ve wondered, “How did I get here?”
Then, a harder question: “How did I give up the things that used to matter most?”
Today can be a fresh start.
Choose to give yourself a gift that will keep on giving for a lifetime.
Find your way by harnessing the power of:
your mind
Take the first step to clarity. Ask yourself these five questions.
- Who am I?
- What do I stand for?
- When do I feel my best?
- Where do I want to grow?
- How will I do it?
You will begin to see more clearly.
your body
The time has come to move freely. Give up the tired, old self. Find a new spark in your step. Try to:
- Eat like a human.
- Fit in fitness.
- Practice yoga.
Do something good for your body.
your life
We’ve all felt overwhelmed at times. Grab onto that feeling! It’s the momentum behind change.
Here are some life changes to help form a new American dream.
- Try minimalism. You’ve heard the saying, “Less is more.” So try it. Start small, like with a closet, your bedroom or by minimizing your wardrobe.
- Quit doing stupid work.
- Get out of debt.
- Do something amazing.
Change comes slowly. Believe me, I know.
Maybe you are reading this thinking, “This new self is years away.” Then, the helpless feeling sets in.
Fight it. Let the giving start today.
Change only comes if you keep trying.
Take the first step, then another, then more.
Keep building momentum.
You will thank you.
Are you ready to unwrap the ultimate gift to yourself?
Melissa shares her journey to live simply and find beauty in everyday life on her blog, Peace & Projects.
Photo by Mike Peters.
40 Responses to “Give Yourself the Ultimate Gift: You”
Comments
Read below or add a comment...
Hi Melissa and Katie,
I love the idea of this guest post gift swap!
While you say that: “Because behind the woman that’s trying to do it all is that beautiful, pure self”, I think your wisdom equally applies to men too. Unlocking true potential is a worthy goal, no matter one’s gender.
We can be brainwashed into believing it’s selfish to focus on ourselves, and that giving our time, efforts and energy to others is preferable.
But, giving away too much leaves us with little for our personal benefit. Sure, there’s a fine balance to strike between selfishness and selflessness… and we often allow it to get out of kilter. Then, everyone suffers.
Spending quality time on yourself is priceless – a gift that money can’t buy (or charge to the credit card!)
Funny you say this, Scott, because Melissa was concerned she might sound like she was bragging, but I think her genuine nature shines through in this post and illustrates how focusing on yourself can be a gift to others, not selfish. And yep, this applies to men and women for sure. Thanks for stopping by Scott.
Really good point Katie. Sometimes by being our best self we can be an inspiration to others. I also believe we can’t truly make others happy until we ourselves are happy.
You can’t give something that you don’t have.
Hi Steven … you are right, and it often shows when we try to give advice that we’re not really living. That’s what I love about Melissa – she lives it and shares her wisdom from having walked the walk. Thanks for your comments, Steven.
Melissa and Katie:
Rocking post! Full on. Thank you Melissa for bringing home so many of the things I wrestle with. Feels good to know like minds are out there in the blogosphere. I am printing this post, it’s one of the strongest ones I have ever read. It REALLY speaks to me.
Katie, thanks for being such a tremendously giving and sensitive person. Happy holidays, keep bringing the good stuff.
Hi Elana,
I’m thrilled you printed the post. That’s one of the best compliments you could ever give, hands down.
Your words give me momentum. So nice to meet a kindred spirit.
Hugs,
Melissa
Hi Elana, I’m so glad you connected with Melissa. She’s a beautiful, thoughtful blogger. And, Melissa if you haven’t been over to Elana’s blog http://flyintheface.wordpress.com you must! She’s beyond fabulous. Two of my favourite gals.
Hi Scott,
Thank you for unwrapping our gifts.
You bring up a good point about the balance between selfishness and selflessness. That is so true! Self development can be a tricky quest. Luckily, my loved ones helped keep me a clear path … And if I fell, they were there beside me.
In the end, developing myself has led to many family improvements. So even if some of the changes seemed for “myself” – they encompassed everyone around me, too.
Hi Melissa!
Thanks for the positivity!I found this post really refreshing. Christmas should not be about what we want, but what we already have & are greatfull for. I love your idea of the ultimate gift. It sounds like it all boils down to self-love! How can we go wrong with that!! Thanks!
Dandy
Exactly! Well said, Dandy.
Thanks for adding your own positivity to this post.
Melissa
Melissa, you and Katie are right on target with your posts. It is time to give the gift of ourselves and our love for one another. And, as I’ve already mentioned in a recent post of mine, my 1st resolution for 2011 is to be kinder to myself!
Thanks!
Go Barbara!
That’s a wonderful goal, Barbara. Let me know how it goes!
xoxo
Melissa
Hi Melissa,
When I began the move towards living more simply, I worried about how to make my family get with the program as well. It turns out that all I needed to do was focus on living my own passions and my family began to follow by example. It’s a beautiful thing when you’re in your “right place” and things just fall into place around you! Thank you for this beautiful gift reminder that we MUST focus on ourselves first if we are to ultimately bring happiness to those around us. Happy holidays!
Hi Tisha,
I’ve learned that so many times this year – focus on what you can control (AKA yourself) and you will find incredible joy.
Happy holidays to you, too!
Melissa
You are absolutely right. I didn’t really want to receive any gifts this year. I have also had a year of change. The first 6 months were grueling and the second 6 months have been for healing and introspection. I will enter 2011 as a new person, a different person than 12 months ago. Last year I was but a shell hidden behind a mask to hide the pain. I will greet 2011 as a new person on her way to wholeness!
Great post Melissa!
Bernice
Hi Bernice,
Sounds like your pure self has already come to the surface.
Wishing you the best in 2011,
Melissa
Melissa this rocks! You’ve had quite an amazing year. Thank you for leading my example it’s brings it home on a deeper level when we know someone did it – it reminds that we can to. Like you say, “Even if she’s spent, distracted, pressured and worn out … trust me. She believes you can do it.” – such a wonderful post
Thank you, Aileen. Your comment really means a lot.
Be well and happy holidays.
Melissa
Melissa,
This was very inspirational. Reading that you payed off debt warms this financial planner’s heart. Quitting your day job to follow you bliss and spend more time with your kids must have been a dream come true. Someday…..me too. But – the meteorite? Yikes! That’s a hard act to follow!
You had a fantastic year with many awesome accomplishments. I hope 2011 brings you many more!
Same to you, Angela!
I have no doubt you will keep making your dreams come true.
Melissa,
This is beautiful. What an amazing year you have had! This is indeed the ultimate gift. That’s exactly where I am too and so happy to be there. Thanks for the kick in the…
Anytime, Sandra.
Thanks for your words of encouragement!
Outstanding, Melissa! I love the way you describe finding YOU. Your post also got me thinking about the lost part of me. I found ME many years ago and turned my life upside down to create an authentic path. Somehow, though, in the last few years, I got lost again.
Do you ever receive an awesome gift that you use and use and then you misplace it and forget you had it? I think that’s what I did with the best part of me. I’m now on a path to reclaim me, and your post validates that. Thank you!
Hi Ande,
I know that’s happened to me before. I’m cheering you on down the path to reclaim YOU. Much love for stopping by and giving me momentum.
Melissa
Hi Melissa,
I smile each time I see your photo. It’s memorable that’s for sure.
I gave up wanting or needing gifts a long time ago. What was huge for hubs and I was telling my four adult daughters (in their mid 30’s) we were going to stop gifting them at Christmas and we hoped they would stop purchasing gifts for us. This will be our second year. We continue to gift our three grandchildren but have cut back there as well. Now the best gifts of love, compassion and joy are at the forefront of our holidays. Isn’t life grand?
That’s wonderful, Tess. And thanks for the comment on my photo. I have thee best local photography. He rocks.
I’m so glad we connected! I’ll be sure to stay in touch.
Melissa
Oh and congratulations on your major and life changing changes.
We do exchange gifts, and I try to shop for meaningful gifts. Something that describes that person’s passions and interests. Or, something they may not give themselves, because they were giving to someone else. I also make a lot of photo gifts. I see it as giving the gift of a memory that lasts a lifetime
So, I’m not ready to cross all gifts off that money can buy. But, I am giving myself a gift of 10 days off from work for Christmas. I have 5 hours to go…
Thank you for the post Melissa. It is inspiring, motivating, and uplifting.
That is so great! This is the first year I get to take MANY days off during Christmas. I am so excited. Not quite counting down the hours, but still looking forward to that gift to myself.
Enjoy YOUR gift.
xoxo
Melissa
I can definitely relate to this. We are so conditioned by society to seek others approval and love, but none of that can come if we don’t approve and love ourselves first.
Very true, Steven. It really is the ultimate gift to yourself.
Thanks for adding to the conversation here.
Melissa
I definitely agree with the minimalism idea.
I have been de-junking- it is so freeing….I feel like I can BREATHE better…
It’s weird.
I also gave up Girl Scouts- hated to do it, but all the negativity associated with assistant leaders who stop showing up to meetings, and girls who would rather text their friends than do anything else…..it was bringing me down. And all the planning for meetings and going to meetings…I have so much more time now.
I also gave all of my goats to a friend…I just don’t have time to feed, clean barns, etc….for pets. If I was making money off them it would be different. They are at a friends so I can see them now and then.
Ok, so I have started a book here…deep subject
Hi Carolee,
I know how it can be with certain activities. Just because other people like them doesn’t mean you will. It’s important to be true to yourself!
You’re doing a great job simplifying your life. I’m cheering you on!
Hugs,
Melissa
Hi Katie and Melissa!
I also feel that this year I gave myself the ultimate gift. I gave myself permission to follow my dreams and design my life the way I always wanted it to be. I created jobs that I loved and followed my passions in every activity I choose.
Thanks for this beautiful post. Loving blessigs!
Hi Melissa – I enjoyed reading this post even though it is nearly June! I think the message applies at any time of year, in any point in life. I have recently chosen to give myself the ultimate gift and it feels great.
Katie – your most recent post about taking chances and scaring yourself makes a great connection to this archive.
Thanks as always for the big ideas!
Amanda