How to Be a Girl
When I was a young girl, I climbed trees, built forts, and swam fast. I didn’t shave my legs, wear make-up, sit on the sidelines or wait to lead the charge over a snowbank. I am still a girl, still not wearing make-up, still climbing, building and leading my life in directions that feel right — feel like me — like that girl.
My whole life, I’ve been surrounded by girls. I was raised by my mother. I have one child (that’s her in the picture) and one sibling who has one child. We are a chain of girls. Some would say our lineage ended with my father because he had no son. But what of the women before me and the ones to come. Those lines in time are just as strong, just as valid and compelling as the lines on our faces, the stretch marks on our bodies, and the grooves in our hearts.
Ultimately, girl or boy, woman or man, the threads of our lives are intertwined and we are all connected, all valid, all deserving. I’ve been a girl for a while now and here’s what I know about how to be a girl.
body
Love it no matter what size or shape. It’s perfect as is.
heart
Let it lead you towards your best — your truth. That’s where you’ll feel most at home.
soul
Let it shine brightly. Be proud of who you are deep inside.
mind
Let it expand and stay open to the endless possibilities of life.
I’m a lucky girl. I was born in Canada. I got to go to school. I got to have a child at 28. Some girls aren’t so lucky. They don’t even get to be girls. They have babies when they’re still children themselves. They don’t go to school. They don’t get to love their bodies, live their truth, be their best or know their possibilities. They are part of the girl effect.
Another way to be a girl, or a boy, is to be a change-maker, an action-taker, a participant in your world — to take a single and profound step in the name of all the girls you know and love.
Here are four steps you can take right now:
write
Write a post and add it to the collaborative Girl Effect Blogging Campaign or simply read and share the inspiring posts gathered on Tara Sophia Mohr’s Wise Living Blog.
give
Give to globalgiving or kiva where you can support grassroots projects or individual entrepreneurs with money or micro-loans.
read
Read the inspiring book Half the Sky and join the movement born from its pages.
explore
Explore organizations like The Girl Effect, Pathfinder International, Plan Canada, and CODE who all work in unique ways to help girls reach their potential.
I am a girl and I am proud to be a girl. I hope to make a difference for all the girls who share this world with me – my daughter, my friends, my mother, my sister, my niece, my aunts, my cousins, my colleagues, my teachers, my readers. I encourage you all to write, give, read and explore more about what it’s like to be a girl in the world today.
Here’s a video I directed for CODE, Canadian Organization for Development Through Education.
What do you love most about being a girl?
What do you love about the women and girls in your life?
34 Responses to “How to Be a Girl”
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Katie, I simply love and adore all the women and girls in my life – and also the people in my life with hairy legs (i.e. men and boys) because they make my life what it is.
Thanks for sharing your wonderful insights about growing up as a lucky girl. So many girls around the world and even in our own countries do not have that opportunity.
Great video too – is there no end to your talents?!
Arvind, thank you for commenting and sharing. I know you have personal experience with helping young men and women. I am grateful to know you.
Hi Katie,
My comment luv hasn’t updated yet so unchecked it. Am a fellow blogger on the GE today.
I, too, spent my youth in the trees as well as having a blast at summer camp most summers. That’s what I loved about being a girl – exploring with few cares. Just laughing and being!
Little girls getting married doesn’t feel right. No time to laugh or be. It seems like a tough situation for the parents, too, since they can barely survive. Extreme poverty seems to be the root cause. Need to eradicate that.
Thanks for participating! Giulietta
Guilietta, thanks for checking out my GE post. I’ll be sure to visit yours too. I agree with you that little girls should be allowed to “explore with few cares” as we did. Maybe a few more will have that chance through the work of The Girl Effect.
Another great supporter of girls, especially in the Middle East, is the Central Asian Institute, founded by Greg Mortenson. He’s written two great books telling about his experiences in Pakistan and Afhganistan, called Three Cups of Tea and Stones into Schools. I highly recommend everyone read both of them!
Thank you for sharing the name of Greg Mortenson’s Central Asian Institute and his books. Hopefully, this post and all the others in this campaign can become resources for people to further share and to make a difference to the girls of the world.
I just had a baby girl 4 months ago, 2 weeks before I turned 40. To each their own, but I’m glad I waited for some relative stability in my life and got to be a kid before I had kids. I look forward to watching my little girl be a girl, wherever that may take her.
Congratulations, Dr. Pete, on your new baby girl. Sounds like you are in for an adventure and are open to helping your girl be whatever she wants to be in life. Lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Loved the youtube clip – love the premise: working through girls. There are so many worthy causes out there and the recession is seriously impacting the disposable income we have to share. I’ll check out the Girl Effect blogging campaign and see if I can write something.
Deb, the girl effect video is riveting. I hope you join the campaign that Tara began. It has grown from 30 to 48 bloggers just today alone.
Katie, I grew up as a tomboy. I still struggle to accept myself as a woman. I love science and space. I’m a geek. I want high tech toys and power tools. I have eight children. My oldest daughter is now married. My middle girl is a tomboy, like me. My youngest is a total girly girl who delights in pretty dresses and make-up. I’m learning through her eyes to value my feminine side without losing touch with my geeky side.
I’m so grateful to live in a country where we as women and girls have the opportunities to be whatever we wish. If only all of the women in the world had such freedom. If we all do what we can, we can make the world better for all women and girls. By improving their condition, we lift the entire human race to a better place.
Thank you for such a beautiful post. Again.
Jaleta, sounds like you’re surrounded by girls of all kinds. How wonderful that you are embracing all sides of yourself and they are teaching you to do that. It’s hard to fathom what it must be like not to have what we have — it’s hard to have perspective. But even if we only have it for moments, perhaps those moments will grow and add up to action. Thank you for the lovely comment.
hi katie ~
i can’t tell you how much i enjoyed reading this post – thank you for your good words. we have a lot in common, too, with the non-made-up faces, tree-climbing prowess, and so on. i’m so grateful i grew up running through the woods, jumping off cliffs, and having the gift of a great education. there’s a west african saying that goes, “when an old timer dies, a library burns.” such is the knowledge and wisdom accrued in a single human lifetime. my wish for ALL children across the globe is an education rooted in empowering the human race to act in creative, wise ways. thank you for this great post. i’m happy to have found you today!
Julie, I can tell just by your smiling face that we’d get along — climbing trees together. That saying, ‘when an old timer dies, a library burns” is also poignant because there are so many children growing up uneducated. The loss of an old timer is huge in those countries. I second your wish. Thank you so much for visiting and sharing.
Dear Katie,
I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this post. To answer your questions off the top of my head: I enjoy having flexibility in how I dress that it seems to me men don’t get. And I love how brave and supportive and smart and generally wonderful the women in my life are.
Adena, I always felt like men had it easier in the wardrobe department because they have less choice, but I guess that can be limiting. Having that feeling of flexibility is great. The women in your life sound amazing. Thanks for sharing.
What I love most about being a girl is being a mom. The time wasn’t right for me until my 30s, so I can’t imagine being in my teens in taking on this responsibility! For me, birthing, carrying, teaching, watching, learning from, and loving my kids is one of the best things about being a grown-up girl.
Although I miss building forts and tents, I still get to initiate an occasional snow ball fight
Once again, you inspire me to be a better writer.
Another great organization for girls is called Love 146 (love 146.org) – they have a house in the Philippines for helping girls heal emotionally/physically, get an education, and reintegrate into their families/communities after being sold into sex slavery. I was moved to support this organization after seeing the movie Taken. I was furious that anyone would ever pay for such services!!!!!!!!
Marci, you are so right. We are privileged to be moms and snow fighters. I’ll be sure to check out http://www.love146.org – sounds like an amazing place. Hopefully, those who want to help will one day outnumber those who want to exploit.
Wow just took a look at love146. Amazing Marci.
Katie,
YOU…are a shining example of good in our world! And know that I feel this even more deeply today.
As I read this, I can’t help but think of my own daughter (she’s 13) – and how I hope we are raising her to shine her true and beautiful colors out into the world. And that’s all good.
Except.
Except, for all those out there who are less fortunate, who live in a place where this isn’t so possible. And that’s what makes The Girl Effect – and what you are sharing here – so good. You are helping girls on the edge, get maybe that little step they need toward a life of hope.
And that, Katie, is what shines through here today so brightly. What a beautiful gift you are! I’m smiling from my heart right now…knowing that YOU are a girl, and an amazing and very beautiful girl…sharing YOU here…and changing lives.
Much peace and love to you always,
Lance
P.S. I tried lipstick once…and am fully convinced after that *ahem* experience that makeup just isn’t worth it!!
Lance, it’s wonderful that you have such an amazing vision for your daughter and I’m sure you are helping her shine simply by the incredible example that you give her — even showing her how to wear lipstick – okay maybe leave that to someone else. I hope you consider writing a post for the girl effect campaign — your voice would be a wonderful addition to the many that are joining daily.
Hi Katie,
What I love about being a girl it that a tomboy from Ottawa and a southern belle from Atlanta can connect on the common ground of wanting to make the world and ourselves better! I love that girls come in all varieties, but we support, encourage, and connect with each other in such profound ways. Your post is a great reminder of that and a wonderful tribute to these important projects. You’ve given us more than your beautiful words. You’ve given us a tangible way to make a difference. Thank you!
Barrie, Your comment reminds me of a new friend I’ve made on my street. She says we are so different, well on some things we are, but I love our differences. I think we learn from each other without teaching each other. Each morning we ask each other what are kids are learning and not learning lately. We find reassurance in each others struggles and triumphs. A budding friendship- beautiful
Barrie my belle, I’m with you on the amazing bond that can be forged between girls. I think it’s on that common ground where we’ll make the most difference … together. xo
This is wonderful Katie. Thanks for bringing light to The Girl Effect. It is accomplishing terrific things for our world. When one woman is empowered, everyone in her life benefits. Thanks!!
Dandy
Dandy, you said it. Empowerment spreads just like love. Glad you stopped by.
Katie,
I like the message that we are perfect, with different height, sizes and where we live. Some time we get all caught up on media influences to know how we should be, how to parent or so on. Following our heart is always the best way.
Preeti, you are so right about following your heart. It is the way to all things joyful and rich in life. Hugs to you, dear friend.
Hi Kate,
Beautiful site. Found your post from Mary’s article (Module 3) – I’m part of A-List Bloggers. I do love being a girl, and was raised with three boys which made me special and unique in the family. My daughter has realized that she can do whatever she wants with her life, and how important it is to make good choices that allow her to keep all options open.
I live outside Cabo San Lucas, Mexico in the winter and am part of an organization, LigaMac. They have a six week program for the 11-13 year old girls to help educate them about their possibilities in life – health, birth control, job options, as opposed to becoming pregnant at 15. I will pass your article on to them. What a great cause!!
Cathy, I love it when A-List Blogging club members find me. Sounds like you’ve raised an amazing girl. The work you’re involved with sounds like a very meaningful way to make change in the lives of girls. Wonderful. I hope they like the article.