tiny wisdom

She calls herself Tiny Buddha. She’s a strong writer with a clear, funny, often sweet voice. Her book has helped me to ask myself some tough questions about why I am doing what I’m doing. Not just here on this blog, but in my life as a writer, mother, wife, friend and woman. I often feel like everything I read these days sounds the same, but not so with Tiny Buddha. There’s freshness, sass and heart in her prose.

Her real name is Lori Deschene and this is a book about her life’s journey. She truly bares all — unflinchingly. She does so in order to guide her readers through the personal and into the practical. This is her way of helping them discover their own path and make choices that are right for them. Along with exercises and tips, she includes shared wisdom – experiences and reflections gathered from her many twitter followers. Lori’s book mirrors her blog in both depth and poignancy. I’m honoured that she answered my questions about her new creation. Here’s what she had to say.

1. Where did you get your mad writing skills and wicked sense of humor from?

Thank you for the compliment! I’ve always written—for as long as I can remember. In high school, I made a common young writer mistake: I wrote everything using a thesaurus and included as many 50-cent words as possible because I thought it made me look smart. Despite my strained tone, my teachers saw something in me, particularly because I wrote about heavy topics that other kids my age weren’t exploring.

I went to Emerson College on a partial writing scholarship, and learned a lot through the workshop process. I remember one professor frequently told us, “Show it; don’t tell it.” That suggestion has greatly influenced how I run Tiny Buddha. It’s not just about the tips and insights; it’s about the stories that reveal our humanity and our similarities.

As for my sense of humor, I needed something to balance all those heavy topics!

2. You share a lot of deeply, sometimes painfully personal stuff in your book, was that scary, cathartic, essential?

It definitely felt cathartic to paint a picture of where I’ve been, including some of the lowest moments. It’s liberating to acknowledge some of the things that previously caused me shame and identify what I learned from them. If they help someone, then those experiences suddenly feel incredibly useful, beyond how I grew through them.

It didn’t feel scary at first, as I’ve always embraced radical honesty. But I must admit, now that’s it coming out, I’ve second-guessed myself a little. If someone wanted to be judgmental, I’m sure they could find a lot to judge! Ultimately, it’s a risk I was willing to take, and I’m glad I didn’t feel fear until it was too late to go back.

I did think it was essential to open up in this way—and not just in the introduction, but throughout the entire book. I wanted to show steps of a journey that’s ongoing, as opposed to presenting myself as an expert on personal growth, because I think that’s true for all of us. We will never have it all figured out. All we can ever do is start from where we are and do our best to keep learning, growing, and helping each other.

3. Why was it important to you to lace your book with crowd sourced wisdom?

The book is about the hardest questions in life, and there aren’t really concrete answers to any of them—although there are many different possible conclusions we could draw, depending on our perceptions and beliefs.

I wanted the book to address numerous different ways of looking at things, so it made sense to elicit those insights from the community.

4. I’m fascinated by writer’s process. Tell me about your daily writing regime?

Sure! I generally bring my laptop to a coffee shop, though sometimes I’ll sit outside and do it old school—by hand, with a notebook and a pen.

I find I’m best equipped to write when I’m surrounded by people, listening to my iPod. The energy of crowd moving around gives me inspiration, while the music helps me a find a sense of stillness and reflection amid that chaos.

Beyond Tiny Buddha, I also write for ‘tween girls (for a magazine and a website). It’s a completely different style with a lot of “OMG” and “BFF,” so I don’t really have any rules or needs for that!

5. It’s a big book and it’s well written plus you have a blog, a job, a life? How did you deal with burn out and balance?

Thank you for that! When I wrote the book, I actually had a much busier lifestyle than I do now, as I was working a contract writing job on the side while running the website and writing for ‘tween girls. I was able to drop the contract job in March of this year, so I maintain a much more balanced schedule these days.

While I was writing the book, tiny choices really made a big difference. Sometimes I’d take a short break to do a bit of a yoga video from YouTube, or I’d take a walk around the block in the middle of the day to get some fresh air and find my center.

My boyfriend helped a great deal. We’d just moved to LA and he was looking for work, so I could always take a short break and talk with him if I started to feel overwhelmed.

6. Tell me who the book is for? Who will it help?

This book is really for anyone. We all deal with the same universal issues and grapple with the same big questions. If you’re struggling to create purpose, let go of pain, choose happiness, or connect with people on a meaningful level, this book may help.

7. How did you find a publisher and how has that experience been? Any regrets? Any wisdom for up and coming writers wanting to publish?

A few publishers had previously contacted me to ask if I’d review their books. When someone from Conari Press reached out, it occurred to me that I could simply ask if they were accepting proposals—and they were.

So far, it’s been a wonderful experience. The people at Conari have been supportive and helpful; and the whole process has met my expectations.

For new writers who want to publish their books, my best advice is to focus on building your platform. I didn’t know this before, but publishers primarily look for authors who are likely to be successful in marketing their own books. If you don’t already have some type of platform or audience, it’s far more difficult to get a publisher’s attention, even if you have a fantastic book.

Of course, nowadays, writers can easily publish on their own, but then it’s even more essential to have a platform and a network of supporters, since you won’t have the benefit of a team working on your behalf.

8. What’s next for Tiny Buddha and for Lori Deschene?

I’m going to Disneyland! I’m serious. I have an annual pass and I go all the time with my boyfriend. But in terms of my work…

Until January 15th, I’m running a photo contest through the “Life’s Hard Questions” project. Anyone who submits a picture of themselves somehow displaying the hardest question in their life is entered to win a DSLR camera or a Kindle. You can view that slide show and enter the contest at lifeshardquestions.com.

Beyond that, I’ll keep writing for Tiny Buddha and connecting with other writers who want to share their stories. That’s what I’m happiest doing, so we’ll see where else that takes me!

Grab a copy of Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life’s Hard Questions. You won’t regret owning a copy and having your own little red book. I love mine. And be sure to visit Lori’s blog, Tiny Buddha.

Happy New Year!